Key aspects of Manhood.

Ladies, if your man doesn't know who Lando Calrissian is, shut it down! Star Wars is something that all men should have at least a working knowledge of. Incomplete (or nonexistent) knowledge of the Star Wars universe is an indicator of not only a complete denial of popular American culture but also of paranoid-schizophrenia.

One who doesn't know at least the fundamentals of Star Wars is completely missing out on a key part of Americana. This may be due to poor parenting, being too popular in school, or being home schooled and, ladies, I know that you would never seriously date or marry a "person" who experienced any of these conditions.

I suggest using the Star Wars as a personality litmus test. Just know that a "man" who has ignored the Star Wars universe is no man at all. Ladies you have some leeway, but men love a girl who appreciates how cool Boba Fett is.

Also, guys who wear baseball caps in situations where it is not called for are jerks, (e.g. a classroom setting, or other places that aren't outside) seriously fellas, buy a comb.

Oh, and guys who wear white-framed sunglasses inevitably have copious amounts of debt. Be forewarned.

Old Folks

Man, old folks rock. Sure they can't drive safely, don't understand technology¹, and they eat up what is left of our failing medical system by spurning the Grim Reaper's attempts to remove them from this mortal coil, but in them is a wealth of knowledge and experience that you can't get anywhere else.

This semester I am taking a class on the Vietnam War. In this class is a plethora of geezers who lived through the thing. There are a couple of them who served in World War Two, one who served in Korea, and a couple who served in Vietnam itself (which makes me want to take a class on the history of the Iraq/Afghanistan wars [read "liberations"] when I'm an old fart). They offer an amazing perspective on the history behind the war and the events leading up to it. It is great to hear them speak of the Generals as if they knew them. Shoot, these guys liberated Paris, jumped into Holland, waded ashore at Inchon, and fought house to house in Hue.

Another old fart pal, is my buddy Donald. I was in the Salt Lake Temple in December and this relic and I kibitzed with each other the whole time. He's a retired oral surgeon, and when I say he looks old, I mean he probably learned dentistry from Pierre Fauchard himself. A few weeks later I ran into him again and we were able to discuss some more gospel principles. What a great old guy, a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, just ripe for the harvest (apparently it's some sort of info crop)!

Having a golden-aged pensioner to cheat off of during the tests of life is a sure way to get ahead! Find an old-timer near you...

1: I went to a fireside a few weeks ago which had a good amount of elderly, and you should have heard the phones going off. It seemed to be the perfect storm of not understanding how to use technology, having the volume set WAY too high (for their old ears), forgetting where they put their phones. It was amazing!!

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

-Conan O'Brien