Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Key aspects of Manhood.


Ladies, if your man doesn't know who Lando Calrissian is, shut it down! Star Wars is something that all men should have at least a working knowledge of. Incomplete (or nonexistent) knowledge of the Star Wars universe is an indicator of not only a complete denial of popular American culture but also of paranoid-schizophrenia.

One who doesn't know at least the fundamentals of Star Wars is completely missing out on a key part of Americana. This may be due to poor parenting, being too popular in school, or being home schooled and, ladies, I know that you would never seriously date or marry a "person" who experienced any of these conditions.

I suggest using the Star Wars as a personality litmus test. Just know that a "man" who has ignored the Star Wars universe is no man at all. Ladies you have some leeway, but men love a girl who appreciates how cool Boba Fett is.

Also, guys who wear baseball caps in situations where it is not called for are jerks, (e.g. a classroom setting, or other places that aren't outside) seriously fellas, buy a comb.

Oh, and guys who wear white-framed sunglasses inevitably have copious amounts of debt. Be forewarned.